Monday, January 18, 2010
MINT
i am afraid of a lizard.. i am afraid of a crawling spider... i am afraid of hot boiling water being splashed across my body and the after smell of burnt skin like a cologne... i am afraid of the dark and the shadows it creates as illusions of light to lure me further into it.. i am afraid of my insecurities and their constant weight trying to pull me down... i am afraid of puzzles and their power to remain unsolved... i am afraid of pain, for the grip it has on the human soul.. i am afraid to be honest... i am afraid to care - less .. to live an existence of complete doubt and of complete faith.. i am afraid to open up myself... i am afraid of the enquiries.. i am afraid of the question marks... i am afraid of my own strength.. i am afraid of my own madness.. i am afraid of loosening up.. i am afraid of tightening the rope.. i am afraid of my own vulgarity.. i am afraid of ma own prudeness.. rudeness... i am afraid of crabs.. of ghosts... i am afraid of memories... i am afraid of baffllement.. i am afraid of getting caught off guard.. but most important of all.. i am afraid of being all CLOSED - UP... CAGED ...
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The fear of pain is no different from the fear of the unknown...It is the fear of death, of depravity...those who lovew it who have seen the depraved accept it as a part of the soul.Life is happiness and pain and death. We like to forget these are all parts of life...in the same way we love dogs and hate spiders even though they are part of the same paramatma.There is only one creator and only one creation. And same as the universe, it has created itself. Any moment you are alive you are caged. All material desire is a cage. This body itself is a cage for the soul..only those who are not afraid of death are truly alive...those not afraid of prison are free. Fear is your cage.Everything you do not know in this world you have not found out.You are the same as hitler and gandhi. You are einstein and hawking and plath and auden.The world is a mirror- it reflects you. When you understand that fear will fade. You are afraid of yourself right now.Understand the within and without will no longer be a mystery :)
ReplyDeletebtw
ReplyDeletei am afraid of puzzles and their power to remain unsolved
absolutely piercing :) i told you-you were an excellent writer.
n yeah
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